My relationship with Vonda actually began 7 years and 7
months before we began writing in October of 2004. It was April
4th, 1997 when God gave me a dream that would change my future. I suddenly set
bolt upright in bed, about 3 AM, and knew God wanted me to write it down.
I know it was a dream from God because it was not only powerful, but when I
awoke I felt a great peace and joy, the same peace and joy I regularly feel
when I mediate on God each morning. In my dream I saw a woman with
brown hair who was in her 30's. Here is most of the dream:
I was with a group of young women &
men (20's and 30's). I was very much attracted to one woman; we
were in spiritual union but she was still fairly young and uncertain
[actually I mean uncertain in the sense of inexperienced, but it was I who was
truly uncertain because of a fairly large age difference, feeling that it would
be too much to believe that someone that much younger would truly be in love
with me].
I kept thinking she was attracted to another guy. In fact, she was, but he was
her second choice, I was her first. Finally, she came right out and
said what was on her heart, that she was interested in two men in the room
- pointing to a fellow to the right of me and then pointing in my direction and
saying, "You are my first choice". I thought she was referring
to the guy behind me and pointed to him. She shook her head no. When it finally dawned on me I was overtaken by remorse for almost missing this opportunity
that God had given.
At this time I was suddenly transformed by the power of the Spirit. It was
like a series of dynamos had been suddenly switched on as I acknowledged this
woman's place in my life, as a wife. I then began to teach her what
the spirit was teaching me. In my dream I knew I was dreaming but I also
knew this was wisdom to be shared with others.
Suddenly my new wife was holding a box - like a shoebox without the lid. It had
been partially eaten by the ravages of time and insects and rodents, being so
full of holes as to be unable to hold any valuables. Just as suddenly a
piece of paper appeared in my hands. It was, as most paper is, limp and
without form. As such, it could likewise contain nothing of value.
I then remember the feeling that came over me as I was instructed what to do
next. I felt powerful but totally at peace. The strength of our
unity and the sense of our mission and purpose were unquestionable and
unshakeable. The love was not just the love between two people, between
man and wife, though that was there, but we were so infused with God's agape
love that I felt we could move mountains.
I then took this piece of formless paper and wrapped it around her holey
box. Suddenly both of our ineffectual containers became one
container into which I saw invisible hands placing time, and money, and all the
resources (physical, mental, spiritual) of our one life, into this box.
The substance of what we each contributed to this container, the flat sheet of
paper and a cardboard shoebox with holes, was earthly and perishable - but the
contents of it, the substance of our life consecrated for the service of
others, was eternal. But there was more...
There was more to the dream, but it is not
time to share it all. I underlined those key elements that I used
to determine if Vonda was indeed "the one". First, as
mentioned in the dream, there has been this undeniable spiritual union between
us. We both felt it early on, especially when we began talking
online. Many times we were so annointed that we didn't need to say a word
and both of us just basked in God's presence.
As we now know, God was guiding each of us throughout the years, preparing us
for one other. The proof of this was confirmed in another dream I had
forgotten. When I was in my motel room here in Shelbyville, just
after arriving, I noticed this single sheet of paper sticking up out of my
sachel full of papers. I pulled it out and began to read. It
was dated September 16th, 2004, just about 4 weeks before we met online.
Here is what it said:
Last night was a night of dreams and I
believe some of them to be prophetic. The prophetic ones were first, a
series of dreams... I believe there were three. In each of those
three dreams the same woman appeared. During each dream I was given the
certainty that she would be my wife and I would meet her soon. I felt
that God was speaking to me - that both she and I were being made ready for one
another and the time was near at hand. I awoke with these understandings
still fresh in my mind.
There is much more as to how God worked toward
bringing us together. We met on Christian Cafe, a christian online
service that helps christian singles meet one another. I'd been
trying to find Vonda ever since my divorce went through, in May of 1996.
I was getting pretty discouraged after all those years of searching and when my
Christian Cafe account expired I had no intention of renewing. It was
when my account was expired that Vonda got online to place her profile.
However, Christian Cafe offered me a 5 day "Get re-acquainted" free
membership and I decided to try one more time. Once I rejoined I made a decision that was not normal for me. I almost never looked at the profiles of women without a picture. Since Vonda didn't place a picture with her profile, we might never have met. But this time I felt I should look at women's profiles who had no
pictures. That's when I read Vonda's profile. Her essay answers were what attracted me to Vonda and made me realize I wanted to get to know her. It was only after I got here and told her about how much her essay answes meant to me that Vonda told me she decided to go online just before we met and change her entire profile. However, she felt God telling her to leave it just as it was... totally honest, creative and obviously sold out to the idea of serving God. Had she changed it I doubt I would have responded.
Soon after we began corresponding it became obvious to both of us that God was
in our meeting, as we were being annointed by God's presence when writing
emails and each time we talked. Both of us noticed this and
remarked on it, especially about how powerful an annointing was being poured
out by God. However, whether or not that meant marriage was another
matter. I had no experience whatsoever with anyone handicapped and Vonda was forth right and very honest about every aspect of what I should expect. A brain inflammation, most likely caused by a viral infection, from either a tick or mosquito bite, left her in a coma for two months, followed by 5 years in a wheel chair, unable to walk. Two years prior to our meeting she began to walk, using two canes and walking very slowly. Her speech was also impaired by that viral infection and I had to be very patient and deliberate in my conversations. That dream revealed nothing about the woman being handicapped.
I kept remembering the dream I had April 4, 1997 and re-read it. Then I
began to see each part of it being fulfilled: 1) the annointing by God that was awesome;
2) the unusual unity we felt with each other; 3) the sense of mission and
purpose spoken of in my dream was obvious once she read my book (she not only
agreed on every point but told me she wanted to likewise serve God); and
finally, 4) the part about her making a choice between me and a younger guy
happened about a month after we met, when a guy she had been interested in for
sometime let her know he was interested in her. I fretted in my
heart briefly, since I had two distinct disadvantages. I was 20 years
older and I was 500 miles away, but I prayed and had a great peace about giving
the whole situation into God's hands. When all parts of my dream were
fulfilled, including this part, I shared the dream with Vonda. Our
love grew by leaps and bounds from that point forward.
This would be all well in good, had this been the end of God's miracle working
power in bringing us together, but there was more. First off I
needed to sell my RV in order to assure we would have a good financial
foundation upon which to build. The serveral thousand in savings I
had just wouldn't be enough. However, I had tried to sell my old
1976 RV many times in the past, at least 6, and not only did it never sell, people told me
it's book value was only about $3,000. However, when I prayed about
selling it again I saw two things. First, to put at the beginning of the ad the
words, "GETTING MARRIED SALE". Second, to say I would sell it for "$5,000 firm". The day before I left to see Vonda I sold it for
$5,000 to a man who needed an RV for temporary living quarters while his house was
being renovated. He saved thousands in motel bills and I got the
money Vonda and I needed to get a good start.
There are many other incidents that reveal the hand of God in our
getting married but I'll only mention one more. This one is pretty
awesome. Vonda and I wanted to get married as soon as I
arrived. It was so obvious to each of us that God was joining us
together, why wait? However, I could see that there was some time
needed for her family to get used to me and accept me, not to mention the fact
I had to convince her mother I was OK. For many, this might
indicate a need for a long engagement. However, Vonda and I were
convinced that January 15th was the right date, less then 4 weeks from my arrival. We believed
this was long enough for her family to accept me, but not so far in the
future that we would give into temptation and sleep together previous to
marriage. Both of us decided to do it God's way and abstain from
intercourse prior to marrying (this has turned out to be one of the best decisions we ever made, as it allowed a depth of trust to grow that neither of us had ever known; neither of us had ever abstained in previous relationships).
Believe it or not, everyone came around to accepting Jan. 15th. Better still, when we were invited by one of Vonda's friends to attend a local church on New Year's eve, that date was confirmed prophetically by her Pastor. We didn't know him from Adam but her friend, Trish, invited the pastor to come over and pray for us. His prayer was
awesome. Not knowing us or this story, he touched on the unity of our heart, the mighty annointing that God had placed upon us, and he confirmed January 15th, telling us that many would be negative (which they were) but not to listen to them, for we had God's blessing. He also prophesied that we would have a powerful ministry that would change the lives of thousands.